


Not My Future (Part 2)

by QuietDarkness



Series: Simplicity and Complexity (Harrisco) [42]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 11:21:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13902954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietDarkness/pseuds/QuietDarkness
Summary: The Stalker turns out to be the last person Cisco could ever have expected, and an unfathomable loss finally puts him over the edge into a dark place from which there is no return...'Opposites don't just attract. They catch fire and burn the entire city down.'(Part 42)





	Not My Future (Part 2)

Cisco couldn't catch his breath. The rage was so real, beyond rational thinking, beyond anything he'd ever known, that he could barely see straight. Because he knew her. HER. All this time... all these years of endless taunting on that phone, the one he was currently steel-gripping in his hand to the point where it was cracking audibly. How could this be happening?! How could he not have known?! He'd even introduced Harry to her! “Oh my god, oh my god!” He muttered, his lungs and mouth finally catching up with his brain and he bent over, dropping the phone as he did and pressing his palms to his knee, squeezing his eyes shut. His whole form was buzzing with the need to send shock waves out, to slam her body into the nearest hard structure, to crush her. And at the same time, he was in a state of complete shock and disbelief.

Because standing not ten feet from him in the crowded Friday afternoon coffee bustle of CC Jitters was Mirabelle Routhe.

“If it isn't Cisco Ramon.” _The woman with the golden hued hair and the too tight for a science conference red dress said, sidling up to Cisco with a smile that was all too pink and all too happy to see him as both he and Harry turned around at the sound of his name._

“Mirabelle?” _Cisco said with a slightly surprised tone, then he smiled brightly, giving a small laugh._ “No way! What are you doing here?!” _He asked as she moved into him for a hug, one that had her pressing up against him without an ounce of modesty. Something he quickly brushed aside as just Mira being Mira. She had always been rather lascivious._

“Oh, you know me. Always have to keep up with the latest in quantum mechanics.” _She said as she stepped back, clasping her hands lazily in front of her. She was wearing black high heels, and had a black leather messenger bag over one shoulder, tucked to her side. Cisco had dated Mirabelle for a short while long before he and Harry had met. Things had ended between them because, as Cisco had explained to Harry during one of their 'before us' talks, Mirabelle had turned out to be the extremely jealous type. And after he'd broken up with her, she'd gone 'nuclear.' Cisco had needed to get a restraining order, the woman was so angry. But then shortly after, she had herself admitted to a mental health institution for treatment for more than a few things. And after her release, she'd been doing well, and apologized to Cisco in a lengthy letter. He'd kept tabs on her after that, feeling a sense of guilt and responsibility he couldn't quite shake._ “You look good, Cisco. How've you been?”

 _She smiled even brighter at him, which almost seemed impossible. Cisco shrugged._ “Good, really good.” _He slipped his right hand into his pocket, taking a little step backward to put some space in between them. It was instinctual, really. As much as he tried to be friendly with her, there was still something about her that kept him from being close._ “Keeping busy with work and whatnot. Taking a vacation for the first time in forever, though.” _He said, motioning absently with his left hand. And the moment he did, she caught sight of his ring. Her brows raised a little._

“You're... you're married?” _Mira asked, her smile fading to something a little unsure. Cisco raised his brows, glanced at his hand, then grinned._

“Yeah, actually, he's-” _Cisco paused, suddenly elated at the idea of introducing Harry to someone newish, turning around almost in a complete circle, looking for Harry, then reaching for him when he saw him watching from a few steps behind where he'd been examining a miniature particle accelerator model, grabbing him by the wrist and tugging him forward,_ “Right here.” _He said with a fair amount of humor._ “This is my husband, Harry.” _He grinned easily, motioning from Harry to Mirabelle._ “Harry, this is Doctor Mirabelle Routhe.” _Cisco added, leaning comfortably into Harry's frame and curling his hand around Harry's arm. Mirabelle blinked up at him, swallowing softly. Cisco noticed immediately the unease on her, watching her become unsteady on her feet as someone pushed through the crowded display room and knocked a little into her. Harry put a hand out and steadied her shoulder. She smiled sheepishly up at him._

“It's a pleasure.” _Harry said simply, that naturally imposing way of his taking over. She cleared her throat, forcing herself to smile a little brighter. But it didn't meet her eyes._

“Pleasure's mine. You've got yourself a really good man here, in Cisco.” _She said, looking back at Cisco._ “It was... it was really good to see you. But I've got to get going. I've got a reserved seat at the optics seminar.” _She took a step back._ “Take care!” _She gave a small wave. A tiny glance at Harry, then slipped away into the murmur of the crowd as though she couldn't get away fast enough. Harry watched her go, but Cisco was watching him._

“What?” _Harry asked just loud enough for Cisco to hear before even looking at him. Cisco just kept grinning and shrugged._

“I never get tired of that.” _He replied, slipping his hand down Harry's arm and simply entwining their fingers. Harry raised a brow in question and Cisco looked off into the crowd._ “Introducing you as my husband.” _Cisco finished. Harry squeezed his hand softly, warmth spreading through Cisco's body at the feel of it._

“Come on. The Nuclear Chemistry Workshop's about to start.” _Harry said before kissing Cisco's temple and leading him through the crowd..._

“Careful, Cisco... someone might think you're sick or something.” Mirabelle said from in front of him, having come close without so much as a sound, the phone now in one of her hands. Or maybe he just hadn't heard her because the rage and confusion was still stampeding through his ears like a volcano in mid eruption. He straightened up quickly, backing into a thankfully empty chair, clenching his teeth tightly. 

“All along...” he managed to get out, and his voice didn't even sound like his. It was so strained, it reminded him of a trapped animal, “It's been you all along?” When Mirabelle smiled, it was beautiful and pink and it made Cisco feel even more terrible than before.

“I told you, Cisco...” She reached forward with one perfectly manicured hand, silver painted nails softly smoothing some hair aside from Cisco's face as he fought every instinct to lunge at her and wrap his hands around her throat. “I've waited long enough.”

If it wasn't for a room packed full of the after office hours people getting their pick me ups to make it till drinking time, he'd have done it. He'd have wrapped his hands firmly around her slender neck, squeezed and vibed all at once, crushed her larynx, shattered her bones, watched the life leak from her eyes till she was hanging useless and dead from his palms. 

He'd murder her. 

He'd become the one thing he always swore he would never be.

He also wouldn't regret it for a moment.

The smile on her face as she dropped her hand and motioned to the empty table behind him told Cisco she knew it, too. 

And that the chance to play with the Devil she'd made out of Cisco Ramon delighted her to no end...

* * *

_'Keep watching...'_

'I don't want to, it hurts too much... _I_ hurt too much...'

_'Important things sometimes need to hurt. But in the watching, you will find answers... and ways to stop it.'_

'Stop what?'

_'...Today and what follows...'_

'I don't understand.'

_'Don't worry. It won't be long now. Soon, everything will make perfect sense. Please, trust me. Continue on to the end...'_

'I don't know if this is a story I want to know the ending to...'

_'The ending of this story, and all that lies in between, can change your future.'_

'I don't know what that means, but okay... just... show me the rest...'

_'Hold on... just a little while longer...'_

* * *

It had been an hour and a half of fighting every murderous urge in his body, surrounded by people who had no idea they were enjoying themselves in the company of a literal insane murderous savage who only had to flip a switch or wiggle a pinky or whatever Mira had planned and probably dose them all with Blue Plague's own brand of awful. 

Keeping calm, keeping cool for the entirety of it... it was the hardest, longest hour he'd experienced in a long time. By the time she got up and left, he was so wound tight, he was afraid to move. He sat there for a good fifteen minutes, just staring, watching faces go by, hands wrapped around a cup of coffee he hadn't taken a single sip from, so cold that by now it wasn't even palatable. 

He'd heard the term 'in a daze' before. But actually experiencing it, as he finally made his way out of CC Jitters, was a whole other thing.

The world seemed to go in slow motion. He was moving, obviously. Feet doing the steady one step at a time thing, carrying him to his car in the parking lot. But the people he passed seemed slow and uneven, the faces blurry, the sounds muffled. Anger, real and fiery, was still rumbling in his brain. A pounding, throbbing vein in each ear. His fingers even tingled with it. He could feel his power, sliding around in his bones, tapping at his temples, begging to be used. 

Getting behind the wheel didn't help the daze any. 

He wasn't even sure how it happened, but he ended up in the parking lot of S.T.A.R. Labs. He was sure he hadn't even been driving in that direction. But as he put the car in park, he was actually a bit glad this was where he'd ended up. It was right he was here. Maybe he could ask Caitlin to let him use one of the practice rooms... to blow off steam. She'd understand... 

Of course, he couldn't tell her why. 

But she wouldn't care.

The daze began to wear off as he made his way inside, wandering through the halls, toward the Cortex. But as he got closer, something new mingled with the thumping in his ears. 

Was that... crying?

He froze in place, several feet from the doorway. Listening.

“I don't... why didn't he tell me? Why didn't you?!” It was Maggie's sobbing voice, choked and filled with tears. Pain. Real and terrible and-

“He was trying to protect you, Mags. You know Dad. He was trying to protect both of us.” It was Jesse. She was crying, too. He could hear the thickness of it in her voice. It wasn't as loud or blaring as Maggie's, but the pain and grief was... grief.....

Cisco moved, nearly running into the room, stopping only when he was met with the wet eyes of Maggie, Jesse and Caitlin all staring at him. Then Maggie's face crumpled, and it looked like it hadn't been the first time, as she moved away from Jesse's arms and straight into his. He held her as she sobbed against him, panic flaring and engulfing all the anger that had previously taken up residence. “Caitlin, what's going on?” He asked, his voice as shaken as he felt. Caitlin closed her eyes a moment, tears trailing down her already wet cheeks.

“Cisco...” she whispered. Jesse let out a sob and hugged herself, stepping away and turning her back on them, Maggie got quiet, or as quiet as she could be, small sounds escaping her throat from time to time. When Caitlin opened her eyes, it was with a stare he knew well. One he'd seen on her before. Maggie stepped back, looking up at him, wiping at her still pained face. She moved back to Jesse, who engulfed her in a hug before moving her away toward the med lab. He watched the girls go with a sense of foreboding he couldn't understand. Until Caitlin came up to him, reached out and touched his face. “Harry's gone.” She said, so softly he almost couldn't hear her over the sound of his own heart beating in his ears. 

“W... what?” He stuttered, blinking. Caitlin let out a small sob, then held his face in both her hands. 

“Cisco, Harry... he...” She inhaled sharply, shook her head, “He died this morning, in his sleep.”

Pure instinct had him reach up and grab both her wrists, stepping back and his brows furrowing. “No, that's not...” he shook his head, fingers trembling around her wrists. “You're lying.” Caitlin wouldn't lie, of course. He knew that. But his brain didn't seem to be processing things right. She just looked at him, not even trying to pull away, tears still falling.

“Four years ago... when he was poisoned by the Stalker, the damage to his heart... I didn't realize how bad it actually was. Before that, the electrocution and being shot and...” She closed her eyes, sobbing softly, head hanging a little before she breathed in deeply again, “It was too much. We've known for about a year...”

“But his healing abilities!” Cisco blurted, letting go of her wrists and turning, his fingers going into his own hair, body buzzing. 

“Cisco, remember... he... he can't,” she paused and blinked hard, “Couldn't heal his heart and brain, that those would heal human slow. We figured that out, remember?” She clasped her hands beneath her chin. “And I couldn't put in a pacemaker or his body would have rejected it. Any transplants would have had the same result because of the Change. Cisco... I'm sorry, I'm so... I'm so sorry...” She began crying again. But all he could hear, all he could see was his reflection in the dark monitor he was standing across from. 

Harry was dead?

Harry was... Harry was dead.

And he began exploding.

Or his powers did. He shattered monitors, computers, cracked walls, destroyed tables, let out every emotion until there was suddenly hands on him, pulling him back. Not one pair, but two. Till he was sitting on the floor up against Caitlin, and Maggie was holding both of his hands bravely in her own, and Jesse... Jesse was holding his face. 

“Cisco...” She whispered. Hearing Jesse say his name? That was all it took. That was the tipping point. And he cried, surrounded by his daughter, Jesse and Caitlin, while his head and heart tried to come to terms with the idea that Harry was well and truly... gone.

* * *

Cisco walked.

By the time he reached the apartment, the sun was coming up and his shoes were the dirtiest they'd ever been. His pants were soaked up to the knees and his hands were so cold that his fingers hurt when he curled them. He could barely get the key in the door. And for a brief moment, even thought about just vibe blasting it open. 

Once inside, he didn't close the door. He just moved his way to the kitchen, grabbed the first liquor bottle he could get his hands on, didn't bother with a glass, and sank right down on to the floor, back against the cabinets as he chugged a good few mouthfuls, letting it burn him from tastebuds to stomach lining. 

“Would you believe me if I said I was sorry?” 

Cisco paused, nearly strangling the half full bottle of Jack, watching as Mira rounded the counter, hands in the pockets of her light pastel pink leather jacket, her hair up in a ponytail, brightly painted red lips stretched in a soft smile.

“Go fuck yourself.” He whispered, then downed another, far too long sip. She chuckled.

“Eloquent. But warranted.” She said, still smiling as she looked around, her dark flats carrying her quietly across the floor as she wandered. “It's different, seeing this place with my own two eyes...” She ran her fingers across the back of the couch, stopping just before the large windows and sighing, “It's just as dreary in person.”

Cisco let out a growling sound and chucked the bottle in her direction, it clamored, spun and rolled, the heavy glass not breaking, but liquid getting everywhere it could. Mirabelle didn't even blink, she just turned idly and raised a brow. He pushed to his feet and moved on her, reaching out and grabbing her with both hands, shoving her up against the glass hard enough to make it creak. 

“Careful, Francisco...” She whispered, raising both hands slowly, empty, nonthreatening, but her tone was clear.

“Or what?” He asked. He should have been surprised by the sound of his voice, the darkness in it. The threat. 

“Don't forget the rules.” Mira responded, her tone deepening. And he chuckled, couldn't help it.

“Fuck your rules. Harry's dead.” He moved his hand very quickly to her throat, squeezing. Her eyes went wide, as though she hadn't expected that at all. He could feel a sudden ache in his joints as her hands came up and she grabbed onto his shoulders. She was doing something to him, he could feel it. In mere seconds, he began to hurt. Everywhere. But there was something about it all that just didn't matter anymore. Hurt him... he could care less. So in response, he squeezed. “Newsflash, Mira... I'm dead, too.” He whispered, and then vibed.

Pushed his powers out, around her throat the same time he squeezed. It didn't even dawn on him that he was killing her.

Or that she was in turn killing him. 

Sure, he could feel it. And he wasn't nearly drunk enough to ignore it. But he didn't care.

Because Harry was dead. His whole reason for putting up with all this, for living this way, was gone. 

So he might as well be gone, too.

And as Cisco crushed the last of life out of her, both of them struggling for every last inch, every last breath there on the floor of his apartment, pain searing throughout his body from whatever meta ability she'd stolen, his lungs giving out the same time her trachea collapsed, he could only hope that whatever hell he ended up in, Mirabelle Routhe would be nowhere in sight...

* * *

“There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning...” -Thornton Wilder

**Author's Note:**

> (To be continued...)


End file.
